Like many people, I've been subjected to some shit parenting, but more than that I've been forced to watch even worse parenting perpetrated on someone I love, my half-sister.
The Friend Zone Episode 18: Legacy
The Friend Zone Episode 16: Big Tits Donna – A New Year Story
The Friend Zone (Twilight Zone music: Di-di-di-di-di-di-di-di, di-di-di-di-di-di-di) There is a fifth dimension, beyond that which is known to men seeking love. It is a dimension as easy to fall into, as it is impossible to crawl out of. It is the middle ground between fear and joy, between desperation and devotion, and it lies... Continue Reading →
The Friend Zone Episode 14: Photo-Bomb
The Friend Zone (Twilight Zone music: Di-di-di-di-di-di-di-di, di-di-di-di-di-di-di) You unlock this terror with the key of romance. Beyond it is another dimension; a dimension of joy, a dimension of laughter, a dimension of happy devotion. You’re moving into a land of both substantive beauty and childlike wonder; But then your hope is turned to fear... Continue Reading →
The Friend Zone Episode 13: The Break-Up
The Friend Zone (Twilight Zone music: Di-di-di-di-di-di-di-di, di-di-di-di-di-di-di) There is a fifth dimension, beyond that which is known to men seeking love. It is a dimension as easy to fall into, as it is impossible to crawl out of. It is the middle ground between fear and joy, between desperation and devotion, and it lies... Continue Reading →
A Strongly Worded Letter of Complaint to Comcast Cable
Recently, I was made to believe, by a customer service representative at Comcast Cable, that rather than make a complaint to his supervisor, I should send an email to a VP. Now, of course this 'complaint letter to a VP' is actually a 'suggestion' tool on the Comcast website, and I was obviously batted away, like a... Continue Reading →
Pissues and Shituations: A Tale of Public Bathroomery
Yesterday I had an emergency shituation arise while at the Crestwood PetSmart. I was shopping for a new mousy swing stick toy for my kitty, Mr. Meowmington, when a pressure arose against at my back door that required immediate attention. Unfamiliar with the bathroom layout of the PetSmart, I decided to shuffle down to the... Continue Reading →
The Friend Zone Episode 11: The Ukrainian Part 2
She flowed into my arms, and looked up at me with that smile “Are they watching?” she melodied. I nodded my head and kissed her, right there in front of everyone. I. did. not. give. a. fuck. who. saw. it. I’m being serious folks: audible gasps. Sofia slowly brought her mouth to my ear; goosebumps formed on my neck as her hot breath whispered "I'm going to fuck you tonight, Michael." I was speechless.
The Friend Zone Episode 10: The Ukrainian Part 1
After, Sofia told me that she was married, and her husband was in the Russian Mafia. He was currently in jail in Ukraine. "Soooo...I just came all over a Russian mobsters leather interior, from his wife jerking me off?" MAYBE The coolest question I've ever asked. "I suppose you have done this" Sofia said, smiling at me.
The Friend Zone Episode 8: The Stripper – Part 2: Fear and Loathing in My Bedroom
The Friend Zone (Twilight Zone music: Di-di-di-di-di-di-di-di, di-di-di-di-di-di-di) There is a fifth dimension, beyond that which is known to a man seeking love. It is a dimension as easy to fall into, as it is impossible to crawl out of. It is the middle ground between fear and joy, between desperation and devotion, and it... Continue Reading →
General Douchebaggery 