The Friend Zone Episode 28: Pandora’s Box

We all want to act like we don’t need or want anybody. Everyone on dating apps is quick to point out how ‘independent’ they are, and it’s great to be independent; to not need anything from anyone or want to give anything in return…but isn’t also great to be needed and have desire for someone else?

The Friend Zone Episode 17: Cheatin’

The Friend Zone (Twilight Zone music: Di-di-di-di-di-di-di-di, di-di-di-di-di-di-di) You unlock this terror with the key of romance. Beyond it is another dimension; a dimension of joy, a dimension of laughter, a dimension of happy devotion. You’re moving into a land of both substantive beauty and childlike wonder; But then your hope is turned to fear... Continue Reading →

The Friend Zone Episode 16: Big Tits Donna – A New Year Story

The Friend Zone (Twilight Zone music: Di-di-di-di-di-di-di-di, di-di-di-di-di-di-di) There is a fifth dimension, beyond that which is known to men seeking love. It is a dimension as easy to fall into, as it is impossible to crawl out of. It is the middle ground between fear and joy, between desperation and devotion, and it lies... Continue Reading →

The Friend Zone Episode 15: Dating Websites

We go on a date, wind up back at your place and you shove that cat in my face, asking "Isn't he just precious?" while I politely try to back away so one of its poo-pee-paws that's been stomping around in piss & shit clumps doesn't touch my face. If I'm honest and say your cat is disgusting, I'll wind up in the friction-burn groin ward at Christ Hospital because NOT liking cats will turn your vagina into the Tatooine Desert. But, God forbid your cat scratches me with that shit-paw and gives me the sepsis.

The Friend Zone Episode 14: Photo-Bomb

The Friend Zone (Twilight Zone music: Di-di-di-di-di-di-di-di, di-di-di-di-di-di-di) You unlock this terror with the key of romance. Beyond it is another dimension; a dimension of joy, a dimension of laughter, a dimension of happy devotion. You’re moving into a land of both substantive beauty and childlike wonder; But then your hope is turned to fear... Continue Reading →

The Friend Zone Episode 13: The Break-Up

The Friend Zone (Twilight Zone music: Di-di-di-di-di-di-di-di, di-di-di-di-di-di-di) There is a fifth dimension, beyond that which is known to men seeking love. It is a dimension as easy to fall into, as it is impossible to crawl out of. It is the middle ground between fear and joy, between desperation and devotion, and it lies... Continue Reading →

The Friend Zone Episode 12: Back in the Friend Zone

The Friend Zone (Twilight Zone music: Di-di-di-di-di-di-di-di, di-di-di-di-di-di-di) You unlock this terror with the key of romance. Beyond it is another dimension; a dimension of joy, a dimension of laughter, a dimension of happy devotion. You’re moving into a land of both substantive beauty and childlike wonder; But then your hope is turned to fear... Continue Reading →

A Friend Zone Sub-Chapter: Vagina-Bone: One Man’s Journey Into Social Networking

Preface to Vagina-Bone: I posted, the now wildly popular “Vagina-Bone: One Man’s Journey Into Social Networking” a few days ago, and that very evening my cell phone started to blow up with text messages from a young lady whom I mentioned in the article. For about a half hour she ‘mother fucked’ me and called... Continue Reading →

The Friend Zone Episode 1: Dominus Nobiscus Hipotomus

The Friend Zone (Twilight Zone music: Di-di-di-di-di-di-di-di, di-di-di-di-di-di-di) You’re travelling through a lonely dimension, a dimension not only of desire and rejection but of a sad need to be with a woman who will NEVER want you, a journey into a pathetic land whose boundaries are that of man’s inability to have a grip on... Continue Reading →

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