The Friend Zone Episode 15: Dating Websites

We go on a date, wind up back at your place and you shove that cat in my face, asking "Isn't he just precious?" while I politely try to back away so one of its poo-pee-paws that's been stomping around in piss & shit clumps doesn't touch my face. If I'm honest and say your cat is disgusting, I'll wind up in the friction-burn groin ward at Christ Hospital because NOT liking cats will turn your vagina into the Tatooine Desert. But, God forbid your cat scratches me with that shit-paw and gives me the sepsis.

The Friend Zone Episode 6: Those Fucking Teeth

The Friend Zone (Twilight Zone music: Di-di-di-di-di-di-di-di, di-di-di-di-di-di-di) You unlock this vagina with the key of romance. Beyond it is another dimension; a dimension of joy, a dimension of laughter, a dimension of happy devotion. You’re moving into a land of both substantive beauty and childlike wonder; But then your hope is turned to fear... Continue Reading →

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