A Friend Zone Sub-Chapter: Halloween Humiliation

The Cuz Ah, Fall…some people like to romanticize it as the beautiful end of another year in life’s epic tale of endless skullduggery. As for me? Fall means that I won’t get that annoying summer heat rash between my balls and inner thigh that smells like sweaty gym shorts, olive juice and moist panda assholes... Continue Reading →

A Friend Zone Sub-Chapter: Vagina-Bone: One Man’s Journey Into Social Networking

Preface to Vagina-Bone: I posted, the now wildly popular “Vagina-Bone: One Man’s Journey Into Social Networking” a few days ago, and that very evening my cell phone started to blow up with text messages from a young lady whom I mentioned in the article. For about a half hour she ‘mother fucked’ me and called... Continue Reading →

A Friend Zone Sub-Chapter: The Inappropriate Segue

Dating is one of those rituals in life we have to endure, and like anything else in life it can be painstaking, nerve-racking, and downright unpleasant at times. When you’re on a date, you have hopes and expectations that never quite pan out. Oh, we’re supposed to say things like ‘no expectations’, and ‘no pressure’,... Continue Reading →

The Friend Zone Episode 3: The Canadian Moose

The Friend Zone (Twilight Zone music: Di-di-di-di-di-di-di-di, di-di-di-di-di-di-di) You unlock this vagina with the key of romance. Beyond it is another dimension; a dimension of joy, a dimension of laughter, a dimension of happy devotion. You’re moving into a land of both substantive beauty and childlike wonder; But then your hope is turned to fear... Continue Reading →

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