The Friend Zone Episode 13: The Break-Up

The Friend Zone (Twilight Zone music: Di-di-di-di-di-di-di-di, di-di-di-di-di-di-di) There is a fifth dimension, beyond that which is known to men seeking love. It is a dimension as easy to fall into, as it is impossible to crawl out of. It is the middle ground between fear and joy, between desperation and devotion, and it lies... Continue Reading →

The Big Daddy Rises: A Movie Review

First off if you haven’t seen “The Dark Knight Rises” let me give you a spoiler alert: You’re an asshole for not having yet SEEN “The Dark Knight Rises”. However, you’re in luck because like most of my stories this one is more about MY movie going experience than it is about ruining YOUR enjoyment... Continue Reading →

A Friend Zone Sub-Chapter: Halloween Humiliation

The Cuz Ah, Fall…some people like to romanticize it as the beautiful end of another year in life’s epic tale of endless skullduggery. As for me? Fall means that I won’t get that annoying summer heat rash between my balls and inner thigh that smells like sweaty gym shorts, olive juice and moist panda assholes... Continue Reading →

The One About a Shit I Took

The other day started out like most others…I woke up and took a shit. I have a very regular cycle when it comes to making a doody, and although the consistency and volume of my dumps may vary, you can pretty much set your watch to their occurrence. This particular morning, however, started a day... Continue Reading →

A Friend Zone Sub-Chapter: Vagina-Bone: One Man’s Journey Into Social Networking

Preface to Vagina-Bone: I posted, the now wildly popular “Vagina-Bone: One Man’s Journey Into Social Networking” a few days ago, and that very evening my cell phone started to blow up with text messages from a young lady whom I mentioned in the article. For about a half hour she ‘mother fucked’ me and called... Continue Reading →

A Friend Zone Sub-Chapter: The Inappropriate Segue

Dating is one of those rituals in life we have to endure, and like anything else in life it can be painstaking, nerve-racking, and downright unpleasant at times. When you’re on a date, you have hopes and expectations that never quite pan out. Oh, we’re supposed to say things like ‘no expectations’, and ‘no pressure’,... Continue Reading →

Four Friendships and a Funeral

Whatta week. If YOU told me the story that I’m about to tell you, I’d call the boys in white coats to pick you up and take you to the mental hospital where you’d wear plastic slippers and play imaginary tic tac throw. Not REAL tic tac throw because they’d take away the bean bags... Continue Reading →

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