First off if you haven’t seen “The Dark Knight Rises” let me give you a spoiler alert: You’re an asshole for not having yet SEEN “The Dark Knight Rises”. However, you’re in luck because like most of my stories this one is more about MY movie going experience than it is about ruining YOUR enjoyment... Continue Reading →
She flowed into my arms, and looked up at me with that smile “Are they watching?” she melodied. I nodded my head and kissed her, right there in front of everyone. I. did. not. give. a. fuck. who. saw. it. I’m being serious folks: audible gasps. Sofia slowly brought her mouth to my ear; goosebumps formed on my neck as her hot breath whispered "I'm going to fuck you tonight, Michael." I was speechless.
After, Sofia told me that she was married, and her husband was in the Russian Mafia. He was currently in jail in Ukraine. "Soooo...I just came all over a Russian mobsters leather interior, from his wife jerking me off?" MAYBE The coolest question I've ever asked. "I suppose you have done this" Sofia said, smiling at me.
The Friend Zone (Twilight Zone music: Di-di-di-di-di-di-di-di, di-di-di-di-di-di-di) You unlock this vagina with the key of romance. Beyond it is another dimension; a dimension of joy, a dimension of laughter, a dimension of happy devotion. You’re moving into a land of both substantive beauty and childlike wonder; But then your hope is turned to fear... Continue Reading →
"…Say Goodbye, My Baby” Written by: Terry Allen Cummings on 04/29/12 Brought to you by Cous’n Cumm'ns Entertainment Cous'n Cumm'ns Entertainment: Where 'pretention' is a full time job! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=47PtUvHIQpk I find myself frantically searching for something. I don’t know what, but my desire to find it borders on insanity. I know it’s somewhere nearby,... Continue Reading →
Rise of The Friend Zone Written by: Terry Allen Cummings on 02/11/12 Brought to you by: Cous'n Cumm'ns Entertainment An Ode to Love Lost Part 1 One cold February evening, as I lay in bed trying to fall asleep, I noticed something fluttering outside of my bedroom window. I got up to see... Continue Reading →
The Attack of the Completely Ineffectual Zombies Written by: Terry Allen Cummings on 02/03/12 Brought to you by: Cous'n Cumm'ns Entertainment Cous'n Cumm'ns Entertainment: Because you gotta read something, I guess? A lot of people will tell you, especially crazy eyed, chubby alterna chicks who wear all black and go to renaissance Fairs with their... Continue Reading →
This pic does not 'age' well for several reasons... I can still remember the first time I saw a porno movie. I was 12 and going through my mother’s dresser drawers looking for money with which to buy a pizza when I came across (no pun intended) a large VHS box with, what I now... Continue Reading →
The Friend Zone (Twilight Zone music: Di-di-di-di-di-di-di-di, di-di-di-di-di-di-di) There is a vaginal dimension beyond that which is known to the penis. It is a dimension as dumbfounding and as senseless as most religious beliefs. It is the middle ground between a man’s happiness and despair, between his hope and hopelessness and it lies between the... Continue Reading →