Hello true believers, and welcome to another real life tale of:

“Responses to Craigslist ‘Women Seeking Men’ Posts!”

Brought to you by D.C.F.S. S.W.A.T., a subsidiary of The River (TM):

Responses to Craigslist ‘Women Seeking Men’ Posts! will return after this commercial break:

Are your neighbors kids up all night watching vulgar Cinemax programming with the sound turned all the way up? Does your girlfriend’s 4 year old tell you to “Fuh off” to the laughing delight of his mother? Do the children behind you in the checkout line at the supermarket insist on pushing your cart out of the way and wildly screaming that they want the candy you’re blocking as their mother looks through a Teen Mom magazine and sais nothing? If these or other problems affect you as a non-parent, now there’s something you can do about it! Pick up the phone and simply call the D.C.F.S. S.W.A.T. Team! Yes, the new Department of Children and Family Services Special Weapons and Tactics Team will repel from the ceiling or air, eradicate the deadbeat parent and whisk their kids off to a place where they’ll either be taught to conduct themselves like civil members of society and NOT grow up to only be 13 years older than THEIR children or they’ll be thrown in The River (TM)! So dial now and save us ALL some fucking headaches! 1800-DCFSSWAT, that’s 1-800-323-77928. And remember, we can’t slap the shit out of someone else’s kid, but we can sure as fuck have their parents killed!
D.C.F.S. S.W.A.T. is a subsidiary of ‘The River’ (TM). The River (TM): taking in your ugly and misbehaved children since the middle ages!
We now return you to your regularly scheduled douchebaggery:

Crazy Lady:

Post Title: does male chivalry still exsist – 18

Hey. I’m Meagan. First time to post to Craigslist. I’m looking to meet someone to be friends with first then maybe something more. Must be dependable and independent. Must like kids. No one might stand crap. I’m 5’0 could lose a few pounds. I’m loyal. And real. And am tired of the dating here and there. Email me. If interested. I dont want to post my pic for all to see. So email. Wonder I’d this will work. I want to fall asleep next to you!!!!! LTR

Me:

Well ‘Meagan’, (apparently your mother can’t spell either), how unslutty of you to say what all first time Craigslslisters say: ‘Friends before fucking’, even though the fucking is still implied. So you’re a short fat sleepy 18 year old looking for a man who is dependable and independent while you yourself are neither of those things. At least you’re political as I see you have a vaginal revolving door policy regarding children. REALLY? 18 and you have more than one kid? And CRAIGSLIST is where you’re looking for their father figure? KABLAM! That’s the sound of the DCFS SWAT team putting a bullet in your head before shuttling your kids off to The River (TM). You mention that you’re tired of ‘dating here and there’ but should you really be dating at all? Shouldn’t you be working and taking care of those kids instead of out brutalizing another cock into squirting more problems for you, the kids you already have, the guy who’s gonna have to move to multiple states to avoid child support payments, and the rest of us who will inevitably have to hear the wailing cacophony of what drops out of your dumpster cunt while trying to watch a midnight rated R movie at the theater, teach OUR kids to be quiet and respectful of other people’s space, or enjoy a peaceful waiting room at the dentist (not that you’d take your kids to the dentist, but you’d probably be there to steal a Teen Beat magazine from four fucking months ago…(DEEP INHALE)…up into your twat? (it goes there, you’ll just probably have to start that sentence from the beginning again to catch it. Lol) Here’s an idea, why don’t we just shutter that whole area up for the foreseeable future sweetheart, like an old nightclub in the shitty part of town. Maybe one day a development group will buy the property, gut it, and turn it into a grocery store or something, but for now? Zip up your twat fatty.

This has been another THRILLING adventure into the:

“Responses to Craigslist ‘Women Seeking Men’ Posts”

Disclaimer: All spelling errors in the Crazy Lady paragraph are those of the Craigslister, any subsequent spelling errors are non-existent and a figment of your dickheadedness. Also, we at Cous’n Hemp’n Enterprises do not condone the use of product placement, but we feel it was necessary within the body of this response, so bite us.

Be sure to tune into tomorrow, Friday February 22nd for another exciting installment of “Responces from Craigslist ‘Women Seeking Men’ Posts!’ only on generaldouchebaggery.com!

Advertisements