The Television Whisperer

Is Television inside of me, or am I inside of Television? One of the criteria I look for in a woman is her Television viewing habits. I don’t ask a lot, and I certainly don’t expect a girl to be into the same things as me, but I DO ask that she OWN a TV.... Continue Reading →

The Friend Zone Episode 5: The Yoga Instructor – Part 3: The Sofa

The Friend Zone (Twilight Zone music: Di-di-di-di-di-di-di-di, di-di-di-di-di-di-di) There is a vaginal dimension beyond that which is known to the penis. It is a dimension as dumbfounding and as senseless as most religious beliefs. It is the middle ground between a man’s happiness and despair, between his hope and hopelessness and it lies between the... Continue Reading →

Paranormal Activity: Another Fart in Hollywood’s Bathtub

One of the only good things to come out of my many years of retail life…is the perks. There certainly aren’t many and most of the one’s available to us are minimal at best, like extra ketchup packets at McDonalds. But, as service industry employee’s we all understand that we have to put up with... Continue Reading →

A Friend Zone Sub-Chapter: Smart Jim and the Dating Website of Doom

Well, I decided to start the new year with a change of tactics. My usual deployment of penile troops onto the shores of Craigslist hasn’t been garnering the results that I was hoping for at this point in my vaginal campaign against the tyranny of abstinence. Although 2009 brought me some interesting dates, most of... Continue Reading →

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